It’s Not You, It’s Me
What if you didn’t have to change jobs or careers in order to find happiness at work? I know what you’re thinking. Hey Adam, isn’t it your job to help people quit the stressful jobs that are making them miserable so they can go off and pursue their dreams? The answer to that question is yes and no. It’s important to understand in working with any career coach that sometimes we can’t blame our job, company or manager for why every day is such a drag. Sometimes we have to take a step back and examine our own role in our dissatisfaction. It’s not an easy thing to do to look in the mirror and recognize that maybe we’ve been part of the problem this whole time.
I’d Be Happy If It Wasn’t For This Miserable Job
Speaking from experience I can certainly say that this has been true for me. Over the course of my career I’ve moved from this job to that job with the idea that I was unhappy because my job and everything about it was frustrating and unfair. Sometimes I blamed it on an unreasonable boss, other times it was the corporate culture, the pay or anything else that didn’t sit well with me. For a while this logic made perfect sense because I’d notice how I’d wake up in a good mood then go to work and all of a sudden…bad mood…until work was over and I could get on with my life. In my mind it was clear. Going to work was putting me in a bad mood therefore I had to get out of there and find a job that would instead allow me to be in a better mood.
Maybe I’ll Be Happy at My New Job!
This line of thinking is perfectly reasonable and one that I’m sure you’ve maintained at one time or another. The only problem is that it’s dead wrong. If it weren’t then surely one of the many jobs that I took to improve my situation would’ve had some kind of a lasting positive impact, right? Not exactly. Whether it was landing a job with better pay, a better office, better manager, better whatever it just never did it. Sure, the first two months at my last gig were awesome. I went from the crazy world of a startup company in an office that was falling apart to the cozy world of a publicly traded tech company with a killer view of the San Francisco bay. Problem solved, right? Not even close. It was just a matter of time before that new job smell wore off and I was back to being the same miserable employee that I was before. Sound familiar?
A New Paradigm
Why is this? How come this keeps happening to well-intentioned people like you or me? To answer this question we have to take a closer look at the nature of the human condition itself. We have to take a step back and ask the question, what actually causes one to feel good or bad? This past week I attended a three-day training put on by my business coach titled Coming Home to Your Own Innate Well-Being. The teachings were based on a radical new(ish) philosophy that he had discovered to be the most transformative understanding he’s come across over the course of his 25-year coaching career.
What is The Nature of Reality?
Without going into all of the nitty gritty details suffice to say that the Three Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, as they’re called, explains so much about why no matter what job I had or what company I worked for I just couldn’t ever be satisfied. You may not be surprised to learn that I had a lot to do with it but you may be surprised to learn why that is. To understand why requires an explanation around how the Three Principles work. When you boil it down it all comes down to one very simple truth and that is that our thoughts create our reality. We may not ever realize it but any feeling, any emotion we’ve ever felt has had some form of thought attached to it. The two are inseparable just like peanut butter and jelly. In reality they’re two sides of the same coin.
Thoughts and Feelings
So what, Adam? What does this have to do with me and my crappy job, you say? Everything. If we can get to a point where we are able to understand that our feelings are just the reflections of our thoughts then that has serious implications for what they are not. If feeling annoyed is the result of a corresponding thought of annoyance that we generated then that means that we can’t blame our ‘annoying’ coworker any more, doesn’t it? I get it. In your mind your coworker is inherently annoying and he’s the one to blame for you feeling frustrated. He’s loud, he talks too much and he’s always late to meetings. Pretty clear cut, right? You’re at the mercy of the powers that be and they just happened to sit the two of you next to each other so you’re just screwed until one of you quits. Well that just sucks, doesn’t it?
What Are The Implications?
What if it didn’t have to be that way? What if by understanding the nature of thought and of what truly creates your reality that you could enter a whole new consciousness where you didn’t have to feel like the victim? What if you weren’t at the mercy of your circumstances? Better yet, what if you didn’t have to expend any more energy trying to manage or control your circumstances? Wouldn’t that be nice? Consider the implications. Now all of a sudden the game’s changed entirely. Sure, you may still want to consider what type of work might be a better fit for you but now you get to do so from a place of wanting to rather than needing to. It may sound like a small distinction but it’s not.
Wanting a New Job vs. Needing a New Job
Have you ever gone into a job interview feeling desperate? How did that go? Do you think you put your best foot forward or do you think it could’ve clouded your thinking and compromised your ability to listen carefully and respond thoughtfully? How about those times when you interviewed just because a job sounded interesting and you were curious? How did you feel being in the hot seat? My guess is that the hot seat didn’t feel so hot because you didn’t have so many expectations attached to it. I would also imagine that you were more comfortable and relaxed which meant that you were free to be your normal confident self. Which person do you think has a better chance of getting the job? That’s right. It’s the person who was interested in the job but didn’t need it.
How Can I Learn More?
This is what I wish for you as you continue to navigate your own career journey. Maybe you want a new job or career in the next few months or maybe not for a few years. Either way the key to success is finding happiness exactly where you are right now. The beauty is that all it takes is a new understanding about the nature of thought for you to immediately begin reaping the benefits. What’s even better is that not only will you start feeling better about your job but pretty soon you’ll begin to notice a positive ripple effect across your entire life.
If you’re interested in discussing how this might help you in your own situation then click here to request a free consultation. It gives me great joy to help others navigate the ups and downs of their career and create meaningful work so don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re at all curious.